How to Have Sex for the First Time, Pay Attention to the Following

For safe and comfortable sex

illustration before making love (freepik.com/freepik)

Everything done for the first time can feel confusing, including sex. Is first-time sex like it's shown in porn movies? Unfortunately, no.

It is not advisable to have sex for the first time in a hurry. For that, there are ways to have sex for the first time that you need to pay attention to. Yes, this is not a definite rule. However, some of these things you need to do from the beginning gradually to get a pleasant first-time sex experience.

How to have sex for the first time

Well, you probably don't have to read this article right before sex. However, you can save it in advance as a form of preparation. Because sex is not that easy and simple.

First-time sex can be challenging, either for you or your partner. Therefore, don't do it carelessly if you don't want to leave a bad memory with your partner.

1. Ask first, it's all about consent!

Just like marriage, you need mutual consent before having sex. It's good to express your desires clearly and explicitly. You can't assume they're willing without asking and hearing a definite answer from your partner.

As much as possible, don't rely on body language to signal consent. Verbally state that you and your partner are both willing to continue the intimate stage until sex.

Communicate the things that you and your partner like or vice versa. This includes asking if your partner is in the right mood for sex. Also make sure the consent expressed is conscious or not under any influence.

2. Prepare and use safety

illustration of pregnancy prevention, contraception, birth control (unsplash.com/Reproductive Health Supplies Coalition)

As important as consent in first-time sex is protection. Some may skip this part and not a few end up experiencing the impact. One of them is unplanned pregnancy and even transmission of sexually transmitted diseases.

You don't want your first time having sex to be ruined because of that, do you? For that, always be alert and use safety. The quickest option that you can rely on and is easily available is condoms. However, make sure to choose the right size condom so that it is comfortable to use. You can also use other contraceptives, but of course you need to prepare long before the moment of sex.

3. Warm up

No, no, it's not the SKJ gymnastics warm-up movement, you know. However, a special warm-up for sex. Reported by WebMD, this activity, also referred to as outercouse, is any sexual act that occurs before a penetrative relationship, although it does not always end this way.

Forms of foreplay can vary, ranging from sexting, hugging, kissing, fingering, giving and receiving oral sex, and other actions. Foreplay is not always the same between individuals, depending on their preferences.

The purpose of foreplay is quite clear. This step helps the body be better prepared for sex. In women, for example. Foreplay helps lubricate the vagina. While in men this can increase the amount of blood flow to the penis which causes maximum erection. Ps. foreplay can also build emotional connection, you know!

4. Penetrate when ready

illustration of penetration (unsplash.com/@deonblack)

Obviously, step number three of how to have sex for the first time should not be skipped. There is actually no limit to how long foreplay needs to be done. You can move on to the next stage, which is penetration, when you feel your body is ready to do it.

The question that most often arises is how to insert the penis into the vagina? It's a little difficult to explain, but it will be easier if you and your partner both recognize the anatomy of the sexual organs. Obviously, though, start by positioning yourself right in front of the vagina.

If you're not sure if it's the right placement, the man can ask the woman to guide him. To facilitate the penetration process, you can use your hand to separate the labia or inner lips of the vagina and guide the penis with the other hand so that the head of the penis is at the right point.

Once the head of the penis and the vagina have met, the man can push the hips slowly. This process can be painful for women even for the umpteenth time. Once the penis is fully inserted into the vagina, you can start the rhythmic pulling-pushing motion.

An important note, do all movements with your partner's comfort in mind. Do not force the penis into the vagina suddenly, let alone give a forceful push or even a punch.

Instead of looking hot like in a porn movie, this could potentially cause injury to the vagina and penis. This is how to have sex for the first time so that it doesn't hurt which must really be done.

5. Relax and enjoy the moment

At this moment, there may be many things running through your mind. In addition, of course, there are many other overthinking materials that actually make sex not fully enjoyable.

Keep in mind, it is very natural for someone to make the wrong movements or even not reach orgasm during the first time of sex. Some people also have difficulty getting an erection because they are too nervous or too excited. 

Sex is a very unique experience between you and your partner. Your body may need to adjust. You also need to recognize what your body and your partner like and dislike.

Instead of thinking what you don't like, it's best to communicate with your partner. You don't have to immediately master various lovemaking techniques during your first sex. Enjoy the moment, feel the sensations, and recognize the right rhythm for you and your partner.

6. Removing the safety harness

condom illustration (pexels.com/Deon Black)

The unprotecting part of how to have sex for the first time can be skipped if you're not using a condom as a contraceptive. To avoid seepage or dripping of semen, you need to remove the condom correctly.

First, you need to remove the penis from the vagina. Do it slowly, if necessary holding the condom so that it does not slip off on the inside of the vulva. Afterward, hold the condom at the base while removing it from the penis. You can also slightly twist and pull the tip.

Then, tie the condom, wrap it in a tissue or other wrapper, and throw the condom in the trash. Avoid flushing it down the toilet as it will cause a blockage.

7. Cleaning up

You might end your lovemaking session by first enjoying a romantic moment together. Hugging each other, saying words of love, and so on. Afterplay is no less important than foreplay. The reason is, this can increase your intimacy with your partner.

However, the sex session doesn't end there. You still need to do self-care after sex is over. Including cleaning yourself and your intimate parts. What needs to be done?

Make sure you urinate after sex. Sex has the potential to cause bacteria to enter the urinary tract. Urinating is a simple step to push the bacteria back out and prevent urinary tract infections, according to Medical News Today. This is especially important for women who are more prone to UTIs.

Also wash away any residual fluids that may still be on the body. For this moment, you can invite your partner to wipe and bathe each other. Apart from cleaning yourself, this stage is also an additional pampering session for you and your partner.

If you think about it, how to have sex for the first time is quite difficult, huh? Take it easy, usually everything flows once you're with your partner. However, for sure, don't forget the important parts including consent, safety, foreplay, and penetration techniques so that you and your partner are both comfortable.

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